There is no article. Move along.

The House That Lies Built

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Dimir Week. What is that? The idea of dedicating a whole week of articles to a guild that does not exist is foolish. One would think that this is early April and is up to its usual shenanigans. Sure, I understand that they have to pay equal attention to all the color pairs, and that Blue/Black deserves its moment in the spotlight. We can blab all day about blue/black deck archetypes and blue/black card combos and all that. But how do you devote an article to the flavor of something that does not exist? I am a little bummed that they would put me in this position.

So, in protest, I will NOT be pounding out an article on the "Dimir" today. How cool is that?! However, I will leave you with an excerpt from a Ravnica card and two from the Ravnica novel. These should pretty much hammer home the lunacy of this "Dimir Week" tomfoolery.

In a space where there is no room, in a structure that was never built, meets the guild that doesn't exist.

Your mind is an icy slope, all slips away.

The Dimir, the so-called 'Tenth Guild,' is a fiction concocted to frighten children and those with the minds of children- a useful fiction. - Guildpact Statutes appendixes

Your mind is that of a child, count only to nine.

Not that there actually were ten guilds of Ravnica anymore, if there ever had been. Like most educated Ravnicans, Kos knew that Szadek, the vampire guildmaster of the Dimir, was at best a folk myth.

Believe. The Lord of Secrets commands it.

Did they really expect Matt Cavotta, a Vorthos, to ignore all this and play along, just so the Drearypants gang could wax nostalgic about (insert some popular u/b deck from the old days)? Nice try.

Don't bother to email me, I am too annoyed to read them or respond to them. Instead, send an email to the editor and tell him to stop disrespecting Taste The Magic.

- Matt Cavotta

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